Loneliness

        Loneliness. One of the many feelings I'm dealing with currently.  I've been falling asleep at around 11:30-12pm every single night thinking about home and all the people I've had to leave behind.  For all of you that are reading this back home, I miss you more than you could ever know.  Cooking and baking are two of the many things I do to keep from breaking down in front of everyone when something reminds me of home.  I've found that if I keep myself busy it's easier to keep going.
        Most of all I miss having someone to talk to who understands me.  I know Jesus is always by my side and that he's always open to talk to, but I need a guy who I can just have a vocal conversation with.  So there is a college here that has tons of college missionaries that teach there and their super cool, but they're all in the big city two hours away.  The family that runs the place has a bunch of kids and two of them are close to my age.  I only get to see them every once in a while so I don't know them very well.  There's kids at Esther's house and all but it's not the same.  I need American friends who are my age and understand me.  I hope everyone will pray for me to have the strength to keep on keepin' on.
         So for everyone that doesn't know we've got a new baby that we're taking care of currently. We found her and her mother on the side of the road and my dad stopped and checked on them to see if they were ok. Turns out the mother was unable to take care of the baby, so we are currently watching her until we figure out what our options are.  We need much prayer on this as well.
           My moms birthday is October 7th so I hope and pray that she will have a blast. She has been an amazing mother and friend all my life and has been even more so ever since we came here.  We've helped each other all through this process.  If it wasn't for her I definitely couldn't make it here at all.  She's everything a mother should be and more.  She's worked so hard to make living here as smooth as possible and I want her to relax and let us do all of the behind the scenes work.  Please pray for her, it is very hard for her, as it is for me, to be away from family and friends.
          It's also so hard to do everything here in Malawi, from cooking to cleaning, and everything in between.  With the electricity and water going off for a week, then on for a day, then back off again, it's not the American lifestyle were so used to.  We got two new puppies in the big city down down south which makes it a little bit easier on me at least.  They are both girls and little balls of energy.  Tice is a German Shepard mix and Sophy is a Maltese.  We bought them from some guys on the side of the road.  They've been doing well and have survived this long with this crazy family so I guess they'll do ok.  I'm still trying to let go of Aspen, my other dog back home, but I think I'll be ok 😊
          That's all I've got for now.  Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I haven't been able to with the wifi off and on and staying busy all the time.  Thanks a ton for reading!!!!!!! For more information on our family or if you'd like to support us you can go to purecharity.com/carneys

How well can people hide their feelings?

Lately I've been thinking about well everything 😄. I've had quite a bit of down time to say the least. One of the main things I've been thinking about is all the kids at Esther's house; how it must have felt before they came to live at the orphanage to wake up every morning and not have a mum to hug and kiss, and a father to lean on when you need it. I mean really, if you think about it how could most of us even get through one day without our parents. We depend on, well I do at least, our parents so much that if God took them away to his kingdom, how could we even keep on keepin on. I mean sure God would help us and we would eventually be able to get through it, but I still wouldn't be as happy as I used to be, I would probably break down every time I thought of them.  The kids here are probably more, what's the word, alive than most people I know.  I've never seen one complain or not give everything they do their all.  I could literally just sit down and listen to one child, just one child, tell me their life story and my life would never be the same.  These kids, no young adults, are some of the strongest and mature people I've ever seen. If anyone needs encouragment just think of the kids down here and what they went through every day before they came to Esther's house.  Some of the things people complain about just...ugh haha it makes me want to call them and pull them through the telephone and show them what the Malawians go through everyday and how small their problems really are. Now don't get me wrong not everyone's problems are little compared to people's here, some are even greater, but God has a way of getting people through life changing events. He can help through the people around you, reading your bible, and through prayer. Well thank you for reading. If you have any questions you can comment below, FaceBook message, or text.  Our website is www.purecharity.com/carneys if you would like to know more.

The Kidz

The are currently 64 children enlisted in the Esther's House Program.  Nine of them stay at Esther's House full time, and the other 55 children come to Esther's House every afternoon for lunch and extra schooling.  How the program works is that if the child has a relative that is able to take care of the child and themselves then they move in with them, and come to Esther's House every afternoon for a healthy and nutritional meal and then extra schooling to help them with their English and school work.  If they don't have a relative or no one in the community can take care of the child, then they are taken into Esther's House to stay full time.  Here are five of the full time kids that stay at Esther's House:

This is Alfred.  He is the sweetest and kindest boy i've ever met :) 

He is seven years old and lives at Esther's House full time. 

The is Mphatso. She is eight years old and lives at Esther's House.  

She is very friendly and a little shy, but once you get to know her

she is overflowing with energy :)

This is Precious.  He is nine years old and lives at Esther's House.

  He is amazing at soccer and way better than Ethan and I combined.

This is Endless.  She is seven years old and lives at Esther's House. 

 She is also better than me at soccer

 and loves to play with Mia and Ruthie (my little sisters).

This is Isaac.  He is nine years old and way 

better at soccer than most of the Mzungu's (white people).

If you would like to here more about our story and how we are doing you can visit our website at www.purecharity.com/carneys

Africa Post 1

Wawa (Chichewa for Hi).  When I got on the airplane I was pretty much having a mental breakdown.  A lot of my friends showed up so it was that much harder saying goodbye; plus all of my family.  They apparently gave us the wrong times for departure so we thought we were leaving at 3:30 but instead left at 2:15 and lost an hour of time with everyone.  My dad gave the worst command ever after we all got done praying... Let's go we are leaving.  I was still getting all my suitcases and backpack when my family was already up the escalator.  I had to get on the elevator alone.  My Grandma sent me up the elevator and let me tell you, that moment the devil was at his strongest, tempting me to just turn around and run back to my grandma, and stay with my friends and family.  I now can say that that was the worst day of my entire life.  The flight to Chicago was, well, depressing.  I was bawling the whole way there.  When we landed everyone was hungry and super stressed trying to get all the luggage and kids to stay together and to get to the next gate.  After we ate dinner we got on the next flight to London.  Thankfully it was an overnight flight so I didn't have to deal with my brothers being "bored" for eight hours.  When we landed we checked in our bags at the storage place and headed for the Tube/Subway.  We got into the heart of London after about 30 min and bought bus tickets to go sightseeing.  I had a blast and it was nice to get my mind of something other than being ripped from my friends and family.  We went back to the airport after a couple hours and got on our next flight to Johannesburg, South Africa.  After an agonizing 11 hours we finally landed.  The airport took forever especially with our huge family and tons of luggage.  After going through customs we went into a sort of mall type place.  They had an African souvenir shop that was amazing.  We didn't buy anything because it was crazy expensive, and we didn't have room.  Once we ate breakfast we went to our next and final gate.  Thank the lord it was only a two our flight.  We arrived in Lilongwe, Malawi Sunday afternoon. It took forever just to get through customs and get all of our luggage.  AJ and CM met us at the airport along with KC and JC.  We went to the Africa Bible College to spend the night since it takes 2 and 1/2 to 3 hours just to get to Ntcheu. That night we ate at Pizza Inn which doesn't have the best food ever, but hey its food and you never know where your next meal will come from.  We spent the night in a Bungalow with several bunk beds, with mosquito nets of course, and two bathrooms.  The next morning we got to sleep in, which was amazing since my sleep was all jacked up, and had a nice bowl of cereal for breakfast.  The milk here is a little bit different and is kept in a bag, but will do just fine for a bowl of cereal.  After lunch we all loaded up in the cars and headed for Ntcheu.  The car ride was OK I guess.  I was kind of in my own world looking at everything, so I couldn't really hear the boys fighting and arguing.  It started to get dark around 5 o'clock and was pitch black at 6.  You probably wont believe me but it was about 6:30 pm and everyone was quite, surprisingly, we were all looking out the front window and all of a sudden out of no where a meteorite was going through the ozone and looked flippin amazing.  It had like the actual meteorite in the middle then it had a light green arch in front and green behind it.  Talk about being at the right place at the right time.  How about a sign from God saying your where you need to be haha.  Once we got to the house we started to unpack all of the totes and then went to sleep in our bunk beds.  At first I didn't like it here.  The food wasn't all that great, I couldn't understand what people were saying, and I was about to kill my siblings haha.  I also couldn't see what God had in store for me or what he was planning on me doing here or even why he had brought me here.  The first few days were just spent unpacking and getting settled.  We also went to Blantyre, the other big modern city, to just figure out how to get around.  Saturday we went to Esthers House for the widow service that they have once a week.  By the time we got there the widows and community orphans had already arrived.  It hit me right then as I got out of the car, that this wont be so bad. With all the kids running around, laughing, the widows singing and dancing, I just got this overwhelming feeling that its going to be OK, and that God has all of this under control; that he has a this big master plan and i'm included with precise detail.  I see now that all I had to do was wait until we got somewhat settled and everyone calmed down a little to see the how the Holy Spirit will use us.  My parents have a super nice Nikon camera that is pretty much mine, well I use it 99.9% of the time.  I love photography and there are so many good pictures I can take here.  I got some really good photos of all the kids playing soccer, some amazing videos of the widows dancing and singing, and then everyone dancing and singing at the big welcoming for all the missionaries.  Yesterday one of the widows in our widow program died so they had the big funeral today.  I didn't have to go, but my dad and the Jackson's and Copher's.  The sad thing is that there is a funeral 3-4 times a week in Madzanji village alone.  The people don't have access to vaccines or medicine that could help save their lives and is considered nothing in the states because of how easy it is to prevent and cure.  One of the things we will try to do now that we are here is help the sick and orphaned and widowed and provide for all of their spiritual and physical needs.  Without God I would not have made it past the airport and I thank him every day for helping me stay strong.  If you would like to see pictures of our life you can follow my Instagram account @carney_malawi.  You can also see my parents blog or donate at www.purecharity.com/carney  sorry for it being so long trying to play ketch up haha thanks for reading would love to hear feedback :)